Ang ordinary barbeque ay barbeque.
Ang CS barbeque ay barbe-stack. First in. Last eaten.

Ang ayaw ng isang ordinary boyfriend ay materialistic na girlfriend.
Ang ayaw ng isang CS boyfriend ay object-oriented na girlfriend.

Ang ordinary single ay ayaw makipagrelasyon.
Ang CS single ay ayaw mag-commit.

Ang ordinaryong genes ay namamana sa father side o sa mother side.
Ang CS genes ay namamana sa left subtree or right subtree.

Ordinary customer: Two cups of rice, please.
CS Customer: Two instances of rice, please.

Ordinary McDo Crew: Sir, ang drinks po ba nila regular or large?
CS McDo Crew: Sir, ang drinks po ba natin float, long or double?

Maricel Soriano (MS): Get out of my house! I don’t need a parasite!
CS: Get out of my drive! I don’t need a virus nor a worm!

Vilma Santos (VS): Para kang karinderyang bukas-sara sa lahat ng gustong kumain!
CS: Para kang CD-writer na bukas-sara sa lahat ng gustong magburn!

Ang dalawang magkaibang ordinaryong bagay ay
Ordinary EEE: Exclusive OR.
Ordinary Math: Disjoint set.
Ang dalawang magkaibang CS stuff ay atomic.

Teka, pahinga lang ako…
Ordinary sosyal: beauty rest.
Ordinary athlete: recharge lang.
Teka, pahinga lang ako…
CS: Defrag(mentation) lang.

Ordinary workaholic: Do not disturb. Busy. Workaholic
CS: Do not disturb. Multitasking. Multithreading.

Ang ordinary taong hindi umaasa sa iba ay independent.
Ang CS People na hindi umaasa sa iba ay stand-alone.

Ang ordinary item na hindi madaling gamitin ay inconvenient.
Ang CS item na hindi madaling gamitin ay hindi user-friendly.

Ordinary student: Bumagsak na naman ako. Third take ko na ito!
CS student: Bumagsak na naman ako. Pangatlong iteration na ito!

In an IT-job interview…
“What languages do you know?”
Ordinary: Filipino, English, Spanish, Latin, French…
In an IT-job interview…
“What languages do you know?”
CS: C, C++, Java, Perl, Haskell, Python, Lisp, COBOL, Prolog…

Kapag ang event ay naantala… due to technical problems.
Kapag ang event ay naantala… due to runtime errors.

An ordinary good student manages his time well.
A good CS student synchronizes his processes well.

Monkey see, monkey do.
Override. Overload.

Ang ordinary boy scout ay laging handa.
Ang CS boy scout ay laging buffered.

Tara, gig tayo, bro!
Tera, giga tayo, bit!

Life is like a box of chocolates, don’t know what you gonna get.
Life is like a bin of spam, don’t know what you gonna get.

Ordinary CS Student: Ano yung persistence?
UP Diliman CS Student: Persistence? Hindi mo alam! I give up!
Ordinary CS Student: (sa sarili) Wala naman itong persistence!

By Jonas Roque (http://jonas.i.ph)

Thread 1
CS 155 Student 1: Anong tawag sa mga hindi pa natutulog dahil sa MP?
CS 155 Student 2: Ano?
CS 155 Student 1: Nontoken

Thread 2
Senior Student: Patulong naman sa 155 MP ko oh.
CS Alumni: May kilala akong magaling sa compiler… si Chris Clarin*

Thread 3
Teacher: Mag-share lang ako something off-topic pero related sa class

Thread 4
Trend Delegate: (while developing a software) Eis ang galing! (surprised!), ‘pag may nabago, naiiba!
Other Delegates: Wooh! The greatest revelation of all time!

Thread 5
Senior Student: Wala pa lang seniors sa juniors.
Junior Teachers: Ayan ka naman!

Thread 6
Webteam SA #1: Paano mag-chargenitong digital camera?
Webteam SA #2: Isaksak mo.

Thread 7
A Libre news headline: UP CURSOR, nakalibreng tanghalian

Thread 8
An Imagine Cup team is known to be the s.k.waters. Meanwhile, two among the ACM ICPC (International Collegiate Programming Competition) team names are UP WET, and, UP Team of Artistic Engineers

Thread 9
May taong hindi maka-download ng movies, kaya pinag-download siya ng Quicktime player.
Netguy: Ayan, may Quicktime na ‘ko. Pero ayaw gumana! Pwede bang i-rename ko lang ang .zip sa .mpeg?

Thread 10
Bago sumabak sa laban
CS Volleyball Team & “Star” Player: Go team!
CSV Team: Fox you!
“Star” Player: Fighters!

* Newly graduate Chris Clarin is the CS155 teacher

By Geomar Lubaton
(http://ramgee.i.ph)

We need you. Our Department needs you.

The Department of Computer Science (DCS), the CS Representatives, and the UP Alliance of Computer Science Organizations (CS Network) would like to gain your support in the soon-to- be-unveiled Engineering League of Excellence (ELE). It promotes academic excellence, student awareness, and participation in extracurricular activities of the college.

You can help the DCS through any of the following:

> Academic Excellence. Be the heroes of House Firefox! Students are encouraged to study and be University and College Scholars. Those who are graduating are also encouraged to finish with honors. Also, we would really appreciate it if you can submit your Math, CS, Physics, and other Engineering exams with a grade of 90% or better at the “EXAM IN” box at the CS Department. Please make sure that your exams are properly signed by your respective instructors. You can collect your exams at the “EXAM OUT” box at the CS Department.

> Extracurricular Activities. Be the most well-rounded students of the College! Activities such as the Freshmen Week, Engineering Week, Engineering Cup, CS Week, Student Council Elections, Dean’s Hour, and College Outreach Program entail participation from both students and faculty members. You are encouraged to join in these activities in order for our Department to garner merits for ELE.

> Special Awards. Be the best! If you happen to have won or participated in academic competitions outside the College and/or University, we request that you report this and submit any proof to any of the CS Representatives or to the staff of The UP Parser. These competitions include university, regional, national, and international contests – programming, photography, art, literary, sports, debate, research competitions, count them all! Be recognized.